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Tuesday, February 05, 2008 Fuck will it ever end!!!!To top off the nervous break down at work, and the never ending pile of shit there. Plus the wedding I got some really bad news on Saturday before the Crak Party. I have just now been able to talk about it....so bear with me. We have known for a few months now that Walrus has COPD. The fucking asshole in the ER told him he had 12-24 months to live. Now this is an ER doctor not a specialist. However with that being said I found out on Saturday that Walrus got the results back from his testing the day I had my nervous break down. He has severe COPD and is in the last stages of the disease. He has 47% at most, lung copacity if not less. 1-2 years ago he was diagnosed with Hep C, and now this. We know the Hep C was either in remission or stabelized, but now this has happened and it's not going to get any better. People with COPD don't get better, only worse......especially in the last stages. I am now so affraid that Walrus will not live long enough to see his first grand child that it brings me to tears just to think about that. It's all he's talked about for years. That one day he wants to hear Grandpa Walrus come out of his grand baby's mouth and now this may never happen. It just reminds me of my grandmother and how all she wanted to do was live to see me get married and she can't. Now he may not make it to see his first grand child. I just about lost my biological father this year and I may actually loose my Step Father sooner than later. A wedding is suppose to be a happy moment and all I find myself doing is crying because the people I love the most either aren't here, or may not be here long after. I just want the shit storm to eventually end!! Labels: Fuck me I'm done |
About Myself
I'm a newlywed who got married on March 15,2008.
I'm currently living at home with my mother, husband,
2 dogs, 3 cats, and 5 tortises. We're saving up for
our first how which we'll hopefully buy soon. I'd
love to start our family, but that like everything
comes in it's own time.
I recently lost my father, and am dealing with his
death the best way I know how. Surrounding myself
with the people I love, and enjoying life like he
would have wanted me to.