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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 Is it possible to ever be 100% sure that someone is the "one" for you? I honestly believe it is. However the other night my "fiance" and I had a talk about that certain thing. He's been very uptight, and on edge lately which has been rather trying. It has also led to quite a few tiffs/disagreements, and MAJOR frustration for the both of us. I simply explained to him that I'm not so sure he believes that I'm the "one" for him anymore. To which he assured me I was, however he doesn't believe that there is one perfect person for someone. That comment honestly just tore at my heart.I don't expect a relationship to be perfect, if it was I'd consider something to be seriously wrong. However, I want him to be 100% sure that I'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I've heard the story time and time again of his mother telling him right before the wedding of his first marriage "You know you don't have to go through this right!" I just don't want that to happen again. I also told him that there won't be anymore talk about the ring. Being that I'm so obsessive compulsive all I can do is think...Have I done something wrong to make him not want to propose? Does he have the ring but isn't sure about us? etc.... I drive myself insane with the fact my brain doesn't shut off, even when I sleep. I'm hoping that all this self doubt on his part is because of his parents moving back to Scotland. He's very attached to them (even with a major lack of communication...which btw I don't understand) and is freaking out about them moving back. He is going over to their apartment on Monday and most likely Wednesday to help them pack....with out me there. I understand him wanting to spend time with his parents alone, however I want him to be able to be emotional in front of me and I'm wondering if he's capable of doing so. I am still questioning weather or not he feels that I'm the "one" for him. Despite his reassurance that I'm the one he wants to marry, the comment he made about no such thing as finding the perfect person just makes me question everything. I'm a hopeless romantic (if you couldn't already tell) and that just contradicts everything I have imagined my entire life. I know without a doubt in my heart that he is the best thing that has every happened to me, I love him with every inch of my being and I'm 100% sure that I want to grow old with him. I just wish he was as sure as I am. Oh the other thing I spoke to him about.....We always tell each other I love you (constantly even) and the other almost always answers I love you more. So when he gives me that answer I always tell him to prove it. For the longest time when he would ask me how I wanted him to prove it, it was for him to propose......not anymore. Now it's telling his parents that he loves me and wants to marry me. He hasn't told his parents much except that he's moving in, in July when his lease is up and everything is going good. (Now you understand with the total lack of communication but the attachment confuses me!!) I understand that bringing a girl around family for a guy can be a big thing, and states that there is a large amount of commitment. Yet is it so bad for me to want him to tell people. I'm constantly having to watch what I say infront of his brother, sister in law, or parents in fear of them getting the wrong idea, and saying something to him. I hate, HATE, HATE having to watch what I say and do to appease other people. So I'm waiting to see what he does. Needless to say I'm not holding my breath in anticipation. I'm affraid if I do so that I'm just be seriously let down..... |
About Myself
I'm a newlywed who got married on March 15,2008.
I'm currently living at home with my mother, husband,
2 dogs, 3 cats, and 5 tortises. We're saving up for
our first how which we'll hopefully buy soon. I'd
love to start our family, but that like everything
comes in it's own time.
I recently lost my father, and am dealing with his
death the best way I know how. Surrounding myself
with the people I love, and enjoying life like he
would have wanted me to.