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Saturday, October 15, 2005 Ok I must be pmsing big time...why you ask because I'm getting emotional, VERY emotional.I was watching the new Bridget Jones move tonight that I had been dying to see and found myself wishing I was her....only during the good parts though...not through the whole Thai prison thingy. Then I switch over to "Who's Wedding is it Anyway" (I know I'm a dork)!! There is a girl who is having her wedding and has her brother giving her away because both of her parents are dead. Which sends me into tears for 3 reasons. I can't imagine my father not giving me away at my wedding, I can't imagine not having my mother there, and lastly because I can't imagine loosing someone else that I love more than my own life yet again this year. I lost my grandmother at the beginning of the year, and loosing my mother would just about kill me. I realize that death normally comes in threes for a person and I've already had 2 happen this year. If the third is my mother I will probably have to be committed. Next week is her surgery, so of course this is why I'm freaking out. Like I said I'm being VERY emotional right now, hence the reason I think I'm pmsing. Either that or this is just a very major fear of loosing someone I hold so dear in my heart that I'm just terrified of loosing them all together. I also realize that death is definite and you can't stop it.....I'm just very frightened. |
About Myself
I'm a newlywed who got married on March 15,2008.
I'm currently living at home with my mother, husband,
2 dogs, 3 cats, and 5 tortises. We're saving up for
our first how which we'll hopefully buy soon. I'd
love to start our family, but that like everything
comes in it's own time.
I recently lost my father, and am dealing with his
death the best way I know how. Surrounding myself
with the people I love, and enjoying life like he
would have wanted me to.